Have you ever walked into a gym, you loved it, you were getting stronger, you were hitting your goals and then you only lasted a month or two? This is what happens so often and it is unfortunate. Throughout my coaching experience I have asked myself why this happens in the world of strength and physical fitness. What I discovered is that there is always a common theme of “Life got in the way so I have to stop for now but I’ll be back.” For a long time I simply accepted that something drastic in a client or athlete’s life must have happened and it wasn’t my business to know. When I came to the realization that simply not everyone has the mindset of “I have to work out so I feel great” I decided to challenge that concept of “Life getting in the way.”
Coach: Hey! I know you are not able to return right now because the cost is a bit high for you but I just wanted to see how you are doing and see how everything is going
Client: Hey! Yea! Thanks for asking, things are good etc etc etc I plan on returning soon.
(One Month Goes By)
Coach: Hey! I am just checking in with you, how are your goals going? How is the lifting, is there any way I can help you?
Client: Hey! Things are great etc etc but some other stuff happened so I won’t be returning and I am so sad about it because I love being in the gym with the team etc etc etc.
In reality, things happen, but also in reality, many of us don’t value the same things. My greatest value is being healthy, strong and making my body work for me. Other people would rather have their car work for them instead. That is totally alright! But my reasoning is for long term health, wellness and usefulness in general so that is what keeps me coming back in day in and day out. Unlike my car that will eventually break, die and become replaced , I have my body forever and it is the only one I get. I am not saying my way is the right way, it is just simply my reason to train.
I have had quite a few clients I have coached where their motivation was never really a reason, but more of an excuse, a crutch, an extrinsic more than intrinsic value. “I want to lose weight so I don’t look this way, I want to look good on the beach, I want to feel confident in my own skin, I want to be strong, I want to be healthy to see my kids grow up.” Do I support these ideas? Of course I do, that is what got them into the door in the first place! But what keeps someone to continue after the wave of new year’s resolutions is over? Unfortunately many people fall back into the “Oh I had to work, I bought a new car, I had a cruddy day… last month…” Yes, I believe you, yes I hear you, LIFE in fact does happen. HOWEVER! We can’t let “LIFE” get in the way of our goals. Ask yourself what you value most. If you are the person who would buy a new car and say you now can’t afford to go to the gym, then your simply have more value placed more on the car because it makes you feel good. I simply choose to place my money in lifting because that is what I hold value in. Neither is right or wrong, we just need to be authentic to ourselves in order to find greatest personal success.
Let’s take a different scenario for instance. If I asked you where you have been for the last month and you give me a bunch of reasons why you weren’t in the gym like “my rent bill went up, my job got more demanding, my friend died a few weeks ago,” as a coach I would listen, comfort you, and make you feel validated because you absolutely have a valid reason. But why did your whole life have to stop lifting? If you really couldn’t afford it for one month and were clearly passionate about it, I personally as a coach would say “Ok lets get a trade going so that you work for your membership, that way you don’t owe me your money, just your effort.” Or I could reduce the price to a program you can do at home, lend you some equipment until you get back on your feet etc. If I’m your coach, you can bet your ass I’m going to try to help you any way I can think of. It’s simply called “giving a shit.” Life happens, and there are people who will support you in your passions especially in a gym where every single person is trying to improve themselves in some way.
“Hey boss, can’t come to work today, I got a new car so I can’t afford the gas to get 5 miles down the street to the office (then later you feel like having some ice cream for dessert and drive 5 miles down the street to get some).” Sounds silly doesn’t it? The reality is, most people wouldn’t even think to do that. But there was an intrinsic motivation to get some ice cream rather than the extrinsic motivation to pay your bills on time. So if you wouldn’t skip your day job to make money to live, why would you skip your body’s day job to stay alive and healthy? Just like we need to allot time in our day to make pay to support our lifestyle, we need to do the same for our bodies as well in order to function to live a long happy, healthy, life.